so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dignity is for republicans.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
