I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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