Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
