so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
