we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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