rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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