Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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