Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
