Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
