I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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