It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
