Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
