I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
