I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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