D3 body, D1 cock
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
