got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
