Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
