I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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