Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
