rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
