if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
