you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
