It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
