Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
