Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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