Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
