So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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