It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
