We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
