I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
