To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize