She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
