I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
