well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I will be naked everywhere
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
