yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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