She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize