i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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