Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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