Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
