You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize