...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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