its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
