come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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