I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
