at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
