He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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