I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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