You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
