did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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