I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize