his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
