It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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