I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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