TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
