i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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