two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
