You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
