I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
