You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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