Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
