Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize