dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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