Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
