I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
