living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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