Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
