how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
