also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
