I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
