life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
