You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
