The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
